The Status Q
by MissCHSparkles
Summary: A certain annoying but powerful being from Star Trek the Next Generation decides to pay a visit to Generation One Earth and while there, decides to shake things up in the most entertaining way. Now Autobots and Decepticons alike must cope with new forms and Spike must cope with making sure they don't get into too much trouble. Warning for nudity and possible future sex scenes.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note. I was watching Star Trex the next generation the other day and while watching one about Q, I was wondering what it would be like if he meddled in other universes. For instances the Transformers universe. And so I came up with the idea of him transforming them into humans, I think it's a fairly original idea, more than Wheeljack building something that explodes. ;)_

_Suggestions are very welcome; you'll be credited in the chapters they're used in._

_Enjoy and please review._

"Another day, another fight," Q said idly to himself, watching as the massive mechanical beings blasted and slammed into one another while a few scattered humans attempted to help.

They were impressive creatures to be sure, considering they were walking computers although unlike a certain android they possessed emotions just like organics. Although that seemed a little strange considering one side thought themselves better than the much smaller humans. But like the 'squishes', these robots tended to be completely ruled by their emotions. Why else would they uselessly continue to fight each other when their home world was in ruins and showing no signs of being regenerated any time soon.

If there was one thing Q hated, it was when things got boring and repetitive. The transformers had fought for millions of years on their planet and now were continuing the process here on Earth. But even though they were in a new environment which new beings, they still carried on the same old routine. The Decepticons attacked some sort of power source, the humans cried, the Autobots arrived and they all fought. Sometimes the Decepticons got away with a decent amount of fuel and other times, they barely had any.

It didn't matter what plans either side concocted, it never really changed the balance of power at all. He was surprised that both sides hadn't collapsed from sheer boredom. They thought themselves so powerful and yet were unaware for instance, of a planet sized transformer roaming their universe, waiting for the right moment to attack and consume their precious Cybertron. Oh eventually they would be but not for a little while yet and he had no interest in enlightening them on this point however...

"I believe the status quo could do with a little shaking up," he stated aloud even though there was nothing baring some insects to hear him.

"Yes, things have gotten too stagnant," he continued, now smirking with glee. He always did enjoy starting a new _project._

...

"If I was leader, we never would have failed!" Starscream was shrieking loudly at Megatron who growled and allowed his canon to power up.

"Is that so?" the grey Mech rasped. "Well, why don't you tell everyone just how_ you_ would have done things?"

"For starters, I would have...," Starscream began.

"Goodness, do the two of you never stop arguing?" a snide voice questioned.

"Who said that?" Starscream demanded.

"I did," the voice replied and they glanced down to see a male human standing there.

For a moment, they stared in deep surprise, not only had a human managed to get into their base and over to them without detection but he looked completely at ease. Of course, they quickly lost their surprise and Megatron exclaimed.

"What is this human doing here?"

"I will squash him," Starscream declared as the human sighed.

"So predictable," he lamented.

"Why you insolent," the Seeker cried, raising his foot and attempting to crush him.

However, his foot hit the floor as though nothing was there, no death cry of agony was heard or the squishy sound of bones cracking into pieces. When Starscream lifted his foot away, there was the human standing completely unharmed and looking amused.

"Impossible," Megatron muttered as Starscream tried to stamp on the human again and again without success.

"As thrilling as this is," the human said. "I'm afraid I must hurry things along."

He snapped his fingers and in that moment, all the Decepticons were instantly gone in a flash. A moment later, Q had taken himself to another planet entirely and had soon spirited away certain beings before going to the Ark and clicking his fingers to make all the Autobots, Decepticons and inhabitants from Cybertron appear in a single room with the Autobot base.

"Prime, what happened?" Ironhide questioned his leader as he started to rise, all he could remember was a flash and he'd found himself lying on the ground.

"I do not...hhn," came the response followed by a sharp gasp as the Autobot leader opened his eyes and beheld his body...and the bodies of everyone else.

What followed as a chorus of cries and even shrieks of surprise and horror as every single being realised what had happened to them, although some of them had a hard time believing what had happened.

"What is going on here?"

"How did this?"

"I do not believe this!"

"Oh my Primus!"

These were the most common exclamation as everyone tried to accept the situation.

"Well, now that we're all here, I should probably explain a few things," a voice suddenly broke over the noise and Megatron and Starscream instantly looked up having recognised it.

There was the smug human lounging on a console and smirking widely at them.

"First, I am Q," he introduced. "Of the Collective. I won't bore you with the details but let's just say I'm supremely powerful and there's nothing you primitive beings can do to me. The form you see before you is one I have chosen to assume but I can be anything."

To prove his point, he suddenly turned into a snarling retro-rat before changing back into human. Idly examining his fingernails, he said.

"As you will have noticed, you have all be changed to human and will remain thus until I see fit to change you back. Why have I done this? I was bored and felt like it."

Everyone gaped at him as he looked at them and said in a mock soothing voice.

"Oh don't look so upset, it won't be that bad. Look I even transported a few of your Femmes, isn't that nice?"

"Elita?" asked a lightly tanned human male with brown hair with stripes of grey at his temple.

"Here," a slender but strong looking woman with shoulder length strawberry blond hair replied moving over to him.

"Ah, tender reunions," Q sighed. "But don't worry, your human friend is coming to visit, he'll be able to show you all things humans. I'm sure you'll handle this easily."

And he disappeared in a flash. As people started to mutter and some of the Femmes started figuring who their mates were, one pretty red head stood muttering to herself.

"Which Autobot are you?" Skywarp asked her.

"Autobot!? Don't you recognise me, you dolt?" she shrieked and he stared.

"Screamer?" he said in complete astonishment. "You're a Femme?"

"I knew it," Megatron growled before spotting a lone weapon. Carefully, casually, he began to head in its direction.

"Idiot," Starscream chastised her wing mate furiously before noticing what Megatron was up to.

She smirked, in his new weak, fragile body; he'd be so easy to kill. All she had to do was wait for the right moment and get her hands on a decent weapon of course. For now, she'd watch and see what he did.

"I cannot believe this either," Optimus said to his mate. "It's just..."

He'd turned his head ever so slightly and seen Megatron heading for the gun on the ground.

"Megatron!" he exclaimed and everyone turned as the large, board shouldered grey haired man dived for the weapon and snatched it up.

"Die!"

He fired straight at Optimus and the Autobot leader had absolutely no time to get out of the way but...

"What!?" Megatron exclaimed in shock as instead of his own flesh and gore, Optimus wiped away some water. "Impossible!"

"Hmm?" Optimus murmured, staring at his hand as it dripped with the harmless liquid. He flicked his hand and droplets flew in all directions as everyone stared.

"Oh, did I forget to mention," a mocking voice said and they turned to see Q reclining on a nearby computer station. "You can't kill each other."

"You are kidding me," Starscream shrieked, her plans for assassinating Megatron in ruins.

Q chuckled before saying.

"It wouldn't be any fun if you could just kill each other within five minutes. No, no, no, I'm afraid that's one of the rules, any attempt to kill will result in something completely harmless. You can try to outwit me if you want but you'll fail."

"I'll show you," Blitzwing snarled, snatching up a loose piece of pipe and hurling it with all his might at Q.

Q didn't even blink as the metal flew through his body and banged off the wall. He did however smirk.

"You don't learn very fast do you?" he asked with a chuckle. "I suppose this explains why neither side has won the war."

Optimus had a wry smile on his face at this while Megatron expression darkened. Q pretended to check a nonexistent watch on his wrist and said.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a very important appointment to keep."

"I would have thought you'd be watching us," Prowl stated grimly.

"Oh I will," Q said with a smirk. "You can rely on that. Until next time gentlemen, ladies."

With that, he disappeared from sight.

"So we can't beat on the Autoboobs?" Rumble groaned miserably.

"No," Frenzy said mulishly just as a voice from outside called.

"Bumblebee? Optimus? Where are all you guys?"

"In here," a young, twenty something boy with blond hair called back.

"Bee?" Spike said as he entered. "What...whaaaa!?"

He gaped, his jaw dropping as he beheld the crowd of completely naked people, including women, staring right back at him. Some were scowling, some looked friendly but he hadn't the faintest idea who they were.

"Who the heck are you guys?"

"Don't you recognise us?" an olive skin man with twizzled hair asked, his teeth showing in a grin.

"Uh, n-no," Spike said, unsure because that sounded like Jazz.

"Well, let's just say we ain't called transformers for nothing," the man replied cheerfully. "So, what yah think of the new forms?"

"It's...it's really you?" Spike exclaimed, this had to be some sort of dream.

"Yeah, it's us," Bumblebee said ruefully, this was weird for him to.

"Uh," Spike said, feeling rather faint. "How did...?"

Bumblebee gave it to her and Spike rubbed at his forehead.

"Weird," he muttered, glancing nervously at some of the naked but still threatening Decepticons. Most of them looked furious at the present situation and would no doubt express it with some violence. It was only a question of how long it would take for them to do it.

"Megatron," Optimus began calmly as the other man turned eyes that still seemed to burn.

"Prime," he responded shortly.

"You cannot reach your base in this form," Optimus stated as Megatron's optics narrowed.

"What is your point Prime?" the grey haired man demanded.

"Well, now might be the time to consider a truce," Optimus pointed out as a few Autobots groaned at this thought.

"A truce," Megatron repeated flatly as Starscream said shrilly. "Don't be ridiculous Prime, why should we agree to anything?"

"We cannot kill each other so you can't destroy us," Optimus told them. "You don't know much about the human world, do you?"

"We can learn what we need," Megatron said contemptuously.

"Perhaps but can you do that without breaking human law?" Optimus retorted back. "I won't allow you to go out and hurt other humans, I could call human law enforcement right now to come and get you. I imagine they would be very pleased to get their hands on you."

"You wouldn't dare," growled Megatron. "They could just as easily put you behind bars for _protection."_

"We would take steps to ensure that did not happen," was Optimus's response.

"You can be so naive at times," Megatron sneered but shared a glance with Soundwave who nodded. "But...perhaps it would be wise to join forces for now."

"You cannot be serious," Starscream exclaimed, waving her arms in such a way that made her breasts bounce, causing Spike to swallow and look away. He was really having trouble believing this was happening.

So many of these bots turned human had powerful, chiselled bodies and even the ones that weren't so muscle-bound were extremely good looking. Spike couldn't help but feel it was a bit unfair at how impressive they all looked even in human form. Then again, they had been transformed by this Q character, maybe this was another one of his jokes. Yeah, that made sense; surely they wouldn't look this good if they'd been born human.

Blimey but all those naked ladies with their smooth skin, almost all of them had full breasts, perfectly tailored...oh damn it, Q had turned them all into human goddesses. And they all seemed so confident, even those that looked disgusted, still weren't trying to cover themselves up or anything. It was like Spike had landed in a nudist camp for beautiful people.

"So what do you propose Prime?" Megatron now said, ignoring his Second.

"We work together," Optimus said quietly, adding aloud. "I'm sure it would give this Q great amusement to see us struggling as opponents in this form. There is a lot we need to learn like how to consume fuel like a human, stay warm, identify malfunctions..."

It suddenly occurred to Spike that he would probably be called upon to assist with the former Transformer's assimilation into human life. Now that was going to be a weird...

"Human," barked a man he thought was Thrust. "Explain this malfunction?"

Spike followed the pointing finger and almost fainted at where it was indicating. Swallowing heavily, he looked away and stammered.

"Y-you don't know?"

"If I did, I wouldn't be asking," the Con roared furiously.

"Hey, leave off him," Jazz declared, slinging an arm around Spike who cringed a little. "Not his fault there's something wrong with yah."

"Um," Spike said as the Con's eyes bulged with fury.

"Spike, do you know what the problem is?" Prowl asked with forced calm.

"Yeah," Spike said with a frantic nod. "He's got an erection."

"An erection?" Jazz asked, cocking his head to one side.

"It...it uh...," Spike said, wondering what crazy universe he'd landed in that meant he had to explain this. "It means he's aroused...sexually."

There was a pause before Ramjet demanded. "What the hell does that mean? You saying that we're attracted to something in here?"

"Well," Spike said with a shrug. "Everyone is naked..."

"Urgh," Thrust exclaimed in disgust. "Who would be aroused by filthy, flabby, weak organic flesh?"

"Clearly some of you are," snapped Spike, causing a few to snigger.

"Oh, I think that's right," Jazz stated. "I guess the only question is what they like, Mech or Femme?"

"What?" Ironhide exclaimed, grabbing his mate and spooning her against his chest so that her front was now hidden. With his muscular arms, he held her close and glared at anyone who might be looking.

"Hide," Chromia chided although it did feel rather nice to be pressed against this strong, warm body.

"How do we fix this?" someone now asked, grasping his...Spike really didn't want to look.

"I don't know, take a cold shower?" Spike suggested, throwing his hands up in frustration.

"Why don't we pound him?" growled Astrotrain, punching one fist into a palm.

"Why don't you try," Inferno declared, coming to Spike's other side, arms folded. Several of the Autobots took up threatening stances.

"Thanks guys but I wouldn't fight while you're...uh naked," Spike cautioned as the Decepticon humans growled menacingly at their Autobot counterparts. "You're too exposed."

"Explain?" Prowl commanded lightly.

"Well," Spike said, rubbing the back of his head. "All you've really got to do is get in one good kick or grab between your legs and you're out for the count."

"That goes for Femmes too?" Chromia asked, still against her man.

"Not to the same extent," Spike said. "It's a lot more painful for guys, trust me."

She smirked and he said quickly. "But you girls gotta watch your..._breasts,_ you don't want them hit."

She glanced down at her breasts which were pressed, almost squashed against her mate's chest. They were unbelievable squishy and yet there was a strange firmness about them, it was very strange.

"I'll keep them in mind," she said with a smile, looking back up.

He nodded before saying. "Um...maybe I should call my dad and Carly, they could bring you guys some basic clothes, you could get some proper ones tomorrow or something."

"Suggestion: Good," Soundwave suddenly spoke, surprising several. Megatron nodded, glancing down at his body and musing that he would indeed require some sort of covering.

"Yes, make that call boy," Megatron ordered.

"Have a name," muttered Spike as he jogged over to Teletran one and scampered up the ladder that had been built for his use. Nimbly walking along the edge, he typed in a couple of commands and said.

"Hey Teletran!"

"Human Spike," was the detached reply. "What is your request?"

"Can you call my dad for me?" Spike asked, hoping his dad was home.

"Affirmative," was the reply and Spike sighed as he waited for a response.

"Lord Megatron," came a cultured voice and Spike turned to see a tall, slender man with an eye patch walk up to Megatron, he had a prosthetic limb with two almost hook like joints which he supposed were meant to substitute for fingers.

"Shockwave, I see you've been brought here too," Megatron stated. "What of Cybertron?"

"My drones are programmed to continue running things," the man assured him. "As long as no other variables are introduced."

"Well, with the main Autobot Femmes removed, things should remain stable," Megatron said slowly before becoming aware that the human boy had established contact with his male creator.

"Hey Spike," came Sparkplug's voice. "You alright?"

"Yeah dad, I'm good," Spike assured him. "Uh dad, some things have happened around here."

"Oh yes?" his father replied, his tone slightly long suffering. "Who did what?"

"A weird alien called Q kidnapped the Decepticons and some of the Femmes from Cybertron," Spike said quickly.

"What?" Sparkplug exclaimed. "How the hell did that happen? Where are they?"

"Right here with the Autobots," Spike replied and he knew his dad was frowning in confusion right now.

"And you are not going to believe what happened."

_Author's note. Spike explains the situation to Sparkplug who must come with supplies but what will they be? Find out next time, until then._


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note. __**Important:**__ If you don't like nudity or any kind of touching of private parts, even done so innocently, I wouldn't read this chapter. Obviously, the bots have never been human so they are not bound by any social conventions and will freely explore their bodies._

_Written by me and the-writing-mew whose idea it was to make Starscream a femme. ;)_

_PS: Decepticons are rather opinionated when it comes to how the genders should behave._

_Enjoy and please review._

Continued from last time

"Let me guess... Umm... No... I can't imagine that... Tell me son, what happened?" The father tried and watched his son scratching the back of his head.

"Well... What do you imagine happened?" The boy tried not really knowing how to explain.

"Nothing son, now tell me what happened."

"Uhh..." Hesitated Spike before taking a breath. "The Autobots and 'cons were turned into humans and now they are all here and naked... They need something to wear and soon something to eat."

Sparkplug remained petrified for a moment before asking his son: "Spike... Have you experimenting with drugs recently? Son, you know you can talk to me... So please tell me why are you doing it? Is it because in school everyone does?"

The boy looked at his father with an unbelievable look.

Meanwhile the transformed humans were scanning their bodies...

"How is it possible you're a femme? We always knew you were feminine but never suspected...," Skywarp tried as he reached closer towards his air commander and tried to touch her breasts only to be slapped away.

"Quit it!" The femme barked.

"I've always knew...But never suspected that my soldiers were so thick helmed that they never noticed a femme in our ranks!" Megatron snarled. "I believe the right word for you, Starscream, now that you're a human is... Traitorous bitch."

She gasped and felt her anger boil.

"Yeah Screamer, we can tolerate a mech being a jerk...but not a femme...Femmes must always be kind and lovely," Ramjet gave his opinion and most mechs nodded.

"Soundwave: knew, Starscream: femme." The former tape deck confessed and everyone looked at him agape.

"What?!" The red haired femme roared. "None of you but old bucket head and butt licker knew?! What are you, idiots? I was always a femme and acted like one!" She declared hotly in a roar that made even the human Autobots to turn and watch what was happening.

The human Dcepticons scratched their heads except Megatron and Soundwave who shook their heads.

"You acted like a bitch!" Ramjet once again said and everyone else nodded. "A femme must be-"

"Shut up!" Starscream shrieked, interrupting him. "Idiots all of you!"

As his Second roared like a spoiled brat, Megatron took a hand to his head and closed his optics. This was the worst femme he'd ever met... Her only talent is her intelligence and capacity to adapt in a situation...most of the times and that was the reason she was made his Second...

But now the smokes had gone too up in her head and she acted rashly rather than reasonably.

"Decepticons!" He commanded in a roar and all his men... And Starscream looked up at him. "I command you to ignore Starscream, do not talk, hear or look at her, do not answer her no matter what she says until I say otherwise."

Said femme looked at him with her falling jaw. "You can't do that!" She exclaimed but to her surprise they obeyed and didn't even direct their looks at her leaving her out from their league.

The Autobots stared as the former seeker tried to make some men answer her to no use. Optimus and Elita looked at her in pity.

"Damm!" Exclaimed Jazz. "Screamer's a femme?" Then whistled. "I always said she had a good aft!"

Prowl and several others frowned at him.

"She deserved it!" Bumblebee said watching as now she cried in frustration ordering the men but they continued to ignore her. "She was mean!"

As the femmes pitied their counterpart and thought of inviting her with them, suddenly Spike screamed calling their attentions and forgetting the Decepticon femme;

"I'm not on drugs, dad! Just bring the god dammed clothes to the Ark!"

"Don't you speak to me that way," Sparkplug reprimanded and Spike felt bad for snapping at his dad but this was real and he wasn't on drugs or anything.

"I'm sorry," he began as a voice suddenly called up.

"Sparkplug, Spike is telling the truth."

"Optimus?" Sparkplug said, the voice had issued from below the console. The view screen that had been installed in his home was rather small so he usually could only see the bots standing right in front of it or Spike if he was standing on the console. He was starting to get a bad feeling about this.

"Yes, it is me," the voice that sounded like Optimus but wasn't quite as deep, not quite as...mechanical.

A moment later, a stark naked man appeared beside Spike, he'd obviously just climbed up. Sparkplug gaped at him, automatically concerned for his son's safety since there was a bare stranger next to him but there was something about those blue eyes that prevented him from yelling.

"You can see our problem," the man with Optimus's voice said. "I've seen enough of humans to know that walking around bare is not socially acceptable and I don't think our cleaning cloths will suffice."

"No," Sparkplug agreed. "Uh, "I can get everyone some basic clothes but you'll need to go into town to get properly fitted stuff."

"As long as we have some sort of suitable clothing, that's all we need," Optimus replied as a sudden "Ouch!" sounded below.

"Better get some shoes too," Spike said as Cliffjumper jumped about, clutching his foot having just stepped on a sharp stone.

"Got it," Sparkplug said. "I'll get some shopping as well; I'll use the old truck."

"We will reimburse you," Optimus assured his human friend.

Sparkplug smiled in gratitude before saying. "Just give me a number for men and ladies and I'll get on it right away. You guys just relax, I'm sure Spike can fill you in if you have any questions."

"I'm sure he can," chuckled Optimus and Spike felt dread in his stomach. He knew Optimus would only ask sensible, important questions but he couldn't trust the Decepticons to do the same. Even some of the bots would probably ask embarrassing, inappropriate ones.

"Right, I'll set off," Sparkplug said a moment later once he'd been given some solid numbers. "It'll take a while but I will get all the essentials. I'd advise you look out as many cloths and other comfortable things as you can find so you'll keep warm and safe."

"Thank you," Optimus said gratefully and Sparkplug nodded before signing off.

"Uh, you want me to find those things for you?" asked Spike. "Since I've got shoes on."

"If you could," Optimus said with a nod, there was a lot of debris lying about the floor which normally wouldn't bother the bots. "There is a supply cupboard just out in the hall; you should find some suitable things in there."

"Yeah," Spike said, glancing down at the women who were talking to each other and glancing at a miserable Starscream. "Uh, maybe we should set something up for the ladies first."

Optimus chuckled and clapped Spike's shoulder, saying. "You'll make someone a very good mate, Spike."

Said boy flushed and just nodded before hurrying to get some things to cover most of the bots in there. He didn't even thank Optimus for the comment as he was too embarrassed by the idea.

Meanwhile the Autobot femmes looked at Starscream and how she finally gave up on trying getting the Decepticon males' attention. Even Megatron ignored her and made out as if she was not even there... Even when she slapped him and grabbed his hair.

"I feel sorry for her," Moonracer said suddenly as the former seeker isolated herself from her own people. "Just look at her... She's a pariah."

"It's because she was always mean." Bumblebee offered again and the femmes nodded.

"How was it possible tha' we nevah noticed she was one of us?" asked Chromia making the others shake their heads.

"Maybe it's because she was always surrounded by tough mechs that she learned how to act like them and not like a lady?" deduced Moonracer this time causing her friends to look at her surprised. "What?" She said.

"Ya say Screamer is a mech at spark?" Chromia asked and for a second there was silence in their little group before laughter exploded.

"Maybe as she said no one asked and she believed everyone knew," Moonracer tried again but that only fuelled her friends' laughs.

More seconds passed until the femmes, and Bumblebee stopped laughing and the sharpshooter spoke again; "Maybe we can ask Skyfire if he knew."

"Pfff! That nerd? If he evah knew that the Screamer was a femme, he would have nevah talked ta her or would have chosen her as his partner!" Chromia once again said and the others chuckled. "Wanna see?" She said after devising said former shuttle. "Hey ya Skyfire, get yer aft ovah here!"

When someone called his name, the big blonde man turned his eyes and walked towards them. "Y- yes?"

"Did ya know tha' the Screamer was ah femme?"

The man's blue eyes widened and he couldn't help but exclaim: "He... He was a femme all this time?!"

Chromia face palmed. "Really? Ya didn't know?! How was that possible?"

"And you never noticed anything different?" Moonracer tried watching the tall man shake his head.

"He... I mean... She was my friend... I didn't know! How was I supposed to ask if...if he...he was my friend!" He started to sound desperate.

"Wow, you went on deep space missions with a Femme and didn't even notice," Lancer exclaimed with a grin. "Now that's rough."

He shuffled his large feet, looking suitably ashamed. The large man was unable to think of an occasion when Starscream could have hinted she was a Femme; she had always made it clear she wanted to be treated as a competent scientist. So he had always offered the young Seeker the respect his...well her work and mind had deserved. But clearly, it wasn't enough if he'd missed that Starscream was a Femme.

"I must apologise," he murmured to himself even though he felt awkward.

The Femmes watched as he approached the unhappy Seeker, she looked up when she saw who it was.

"Uh, Starscream," he began, his fists clenched and un-clenching at his sides.

"What?" she snapped, arms around herself.

"How...um...how are you?" he asked, not knowing how else to start a conversation with her.

"I'm brilliant, just great," she said in a tone dripping with sarcasm. "Who wouldn't want to be transformed into a weak, fleshy body and then find out that everyone thought you were a Mech?"

"It...it was rather a shock," he admitted, glancing down at his new, organic body. "But I suppose we can only look at the positives..."

"Positives?" she repeated in outrage. "What possible advantage is there to be had?"

"Well, there won't be any fighting for a while," he said with a slight shrug. "We don't have to worry about hurting anyone and we can experience things that before now, only the humans have enjoyed. And we can interact with them on a more personal level."

"You go and interact with them," she snapped, shoving ineffectively at him as he stared down at her.

"You mean with Spike?" he asked and she shrieked.

"I don't care; we're all miserable humans now!"

"Starscream," he tried, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I know you're upset but you're not alone, I'm here for you."

"Oh please," she said in disgust. "You are so pathetic, just because I'm a human femme you think you can rescue me or something? Just go away."

With a sad expression, he took his hand off her shoulder and said softly. "Please think about it, I'll be over there."

And he sloped off with her glaring after him.

"Typical," Bumblebee muttered. "He tries to be nice and Screamer blows him off."

"She blows off everyone," Arcee said and everyone nodded.

"She's proud," Once again Moonracer offered and this time everyone frowned at her. "What?"

"If ya want ta invite her here with us, then go ahead and bring the bitch here ta talk."

"Chromia!" The other femmes squeaked except for Elita who remained in silence all the time and continued watching what her femmes decided.

"Just go and bring her here, Moony," The former blue femme pushed her friend towards the Decepticons. "Go!"

Moonracer gulped and nodded before turning and walked where the Decepticons were, all the time dodging the debris and silent mechs who looked at her but didn't dare to touch her.

"Umm... Starscream?" Finally when she reached the other she said. "Come with me, please."

Turning her blood injected eyes, Starscream snarled. "What for?! You Autobots want to rejoice in my misery?!"

The Autobot female rolled her optics and took the other's wrist instead easily pulling her up. However Starscream resisted.

"Let go of me, Autobot, what you think you're doing?!"

Near them Skywarp whispered to Thundercracker: "I bet the femmes want the femme to be with them because they are femmes."

"You come with me like it or not!" Finally Moonracer snapped and started dragging her towards her femme friends.

"Leave me alone you bitch-!"

***Splat!***

Starscream and everyone was petrified; the pacific femme just slapped her hard across the face and brought her face to face as the former seeker held her abused cheek. "Enough! Shut up and walk!" she barked.

Even Megatron was looking amused at how that technique worked with his seeker. He used to beat her and never worked, however this other femme only slapped her once in one cheek and now the seeker was submissively quiet and followed where the other lead.

When they reached the place the other femmes were, she said: "Here we are."

Her friends were surprised.

"Moony," exclaimed Firestar, both shocked and impressed.

The black haired girl with green eyes and hair highlights shrugged before saying. "Starscream, all the other Cons are ignoring you because you're a femme. So you might as well hang out with us."

Starscream stared; she apparently didn't know what to say. Just then, there was an embarrassed cough and they turned to see a red faced Spike standing there, loaded with cleaning cloths as well as what looked like a sheet of plastic.

"Uh, if we blow this up," he mumbled, barely able to look at anyone in the eye. "You guys can all lie on this if you want."

"Thank you Spike," Elita One said gratefully. "How do you operate it?"

"Uh, it's not hard," he muttered, offering the cloths to Chromia who took them before setting the plastic on the ground. Taking the pump which had been slung over his shoulder, he placed it on the ground and showed them that they just needed to stamp on it to blow it up.

"Doesn't look that hard," mused Arcee and she started stamping on it and the Femmes watched as it started to inflate. Once it had blown up, they saw that it was a double sized mattress. Spike undid the pump and quickly plugged it up before standing up.

"There you go," he said, still feeling awkward. It would probably be ages until his dad got there so he was stuck looking after everyone.

"Come on Starscream," Moonracer said kindly, trying to soothe over the earlier slap. "We can have a lie down."

Starscream warily did as told before flinching as something was thrown at her but it was only a cloth.

"I reckon we can all kip under that," Chromia declared with relish before tossing the other cloths at her mate. "Hey Hide, you pass these out."

"Thanks," he said ruefully as all the Femmes squeezed onto the mattress under the cloth.

Spike felt relieved he no longer had to look at their beautiful nude bodies, he felt like he was doing something wrong and rude every time he did.

"I'll get some more," he said aloud as some bots wrapped the cloths around them and some were laying them on the floor so they could sit down safely.

"Get them for us boy," Megatron suddenly ordered as Ironhide hadn't bothered to offer any to the human-cons.

Spike scowled but he supposed it was only fair.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get them," he said in exasperation.

There were not enough clothes for the 'cons.

"Hey! Some more will come soon!" Spike exclaimed at the murdering gazes the former mechs gave him.

"They better be," Megatron said before looking up at where Prime and Elita where and frowned looking back. But then he saw Starscream and the other femmes on the mattress...

...he felt something strange seeing all this femmes like that and together exploring their bodies...

...he felt... Hot.

Without knowing what was wrong with him he turned from them all and scowled... Just before noticing that little hanging piece of flesh he had, that now was proudly erect.

Megatron looked at it with interest and touched it with the tip of his finger watching it bounce but not faltering.

'What did that boy say about it?' He thought before once again turned his gaze towards the femmes who were exploring those fleshy mounds on their chests with different kind of touches... Frag! Even Starscream was touching hers!

"You have them so big, Starscream!" Firestar exclaimed before reaching for her and touched them softly. "Mine are tiny..." She complained in the end.

Megatron looked agape as Stascream allowed the other femmes to touch her!

"Mine are smaller... But my butt is big," Arcee said contemptuously before all femmes turned to see said 'big butt' only to shake heads.

"Tha' is a lil aft, look at mine, girl!" Chromia said turning her butt towards the femmes and slapped it making them giggle. "Tha' is a big butt, child."

The femmes now exploded in laughs, even Starscream was giggling with them.

This surprised Megatron who went after Soundwave. "Explain that," He said pointing to the former seeker.

Soundwave nodded and said: "Starscream: interacted with mechs for too long, now interacting with femmes and adapting to her rules."

Megatron lifted an optic ridge at that and looked back at them before seeing said femme touch Chromia's breasts too. He flushed and felt even hotter... The flesh between his legs started dripping something from the tip.

However Soundwave continued: "Lord Megatron: excited, aroused of seeing femmes touching each other."

He turned his irate optics and flushed face towards his Third before noticing that he was dripping and...

...screamed in fear.

"What is happening to me! Help!"

Everyone turned around only to see a desperate Megatron trying hard to not touch the now engorged flesh between... Or better say, in front of him.

"I always said he was an idiot." Starscream mumbled before looking between her legs."Well, at least we don't have that uncontrollable piece of flesh with us." She added and all other femmes nodded before spreading their legs and looked for it.

"Yep..." Chromia said as Megatron became desperate more with the second. "Good ta know, huh?"

All the femmes giggled; then it was Arcee who called their attention as she jumped and yelped. All the femmes looked at her.

"Do NOT touch this!" She said as her finger pointed between her legs and right in the middle of something where little, tiny, small little piece of flesh lay between a couple of what looked like lips. "It...It... It makes you feel funny."

Once again all the femmes looked between their legs before closing them and decided to leave the little thing alone as they watched the Decepticon leader act like a desperate sparkling.

Ignoring her former leader, because for now she considered herself banished from her home faction -for now-, Starscream started playing with her long red hair, twirling and crossing them over and over again.

Optimus was just wondering if he should intervene with Megatron yelling so much when Spike re-entered the room.

"Hey, I got some more...what the..?" he exclaimed as he suddenly saw what was happening.

"What is wrong with this?" Megatron demanded, taking hold of the dripping length of unnatural flesh and pointing it at Spike whose eyes seemed to pop in horror.

"Holy...what the hell have you been doing?" he exclaimed in pure disgust, dropping the cloths he'd been carrying.

"Statement: aroused by femmes touching themselves," Soundwave said helpfully.

"Eww, don't tell me that," Spike said, sticking his tongue out as he made a face.

"Human: Asked what had happened," Soundwave reminded him with an annoyed frown.

"Yeah but you didn't need to...oh never mind," Spike said in exasperation before turning to Megatron.

"Firstly stop...just stop touching yourself," he said, trying not to look at the large man clutching an erection. "That makes it worse."

Megatron instantly lifted his hand away but he was still erect. Spike grimaced before saying.

"If the girls are making you hard, stop looking at them and try to think of something...non arousing. Until you get shoes, you can't go to any of the bathrooms to pour some cold water over that."

"How do humans manage with this," Megatron growled in annoyance.

"We're normally clothed," was Spike's smart reply. "And anyway, it's rude to stare at ladies."

"Ladies," Megatron scoffed, sneering in Starscream's direction. "I see no ladies."

"Hey," Ironhide exclaimed. "Don't y'all talk that way about ma mate!"

"Who said I was," sneered Megatron, turning away.

Spike sighed before gesturing to the Cons to help themselves and moved over to the Autobot side of the room.

"Unbelievable," he muttered before saying to the Femmes. "I uh...hope he didn't offend you or anything."

"No, we're fine," Firestar said with a wave of her hand. "As if we're interested in that slag head."

As he grinned, Arcee said. "Spike, can you tell us why this thing between our legs feels funny?"

His eyes automatically went where Arcee pointed and he turned around madly flushing and coughing desperately.

"Spike?!" They tried but he just continued coughing.

Why did they all the time have to point and ask him things regarding their sexuality?!

"Spike?" Arcee tried again but this time he just shook his head.

"I dunno, Arcee, ask another girl... Maybe when Carly comes she can answer you," He tried hoarsely.

"Are you okay, Spike?" Firestar said putting her beautiful hand on his shoulder.

"Look, it's not a good idea showing around what you have between your legs, okay? Only your mates can see it... Not other men... It's... Its awkward," He say and they nodded.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." The former pink femme apologised and he just nodded.

However Starscream spoke first when she finished fixing her hair. "It seems, ladies, that something happens with mechs...uhh... Men, when they see this," She grabbed her boobs. "Or this," This time she pointed between her legs. "It must have some kind of... Control over their... their...flesh between their legs, and that thing controls them."

The femmes and some mechs looked at her in surprise before she grunted and went after Skyfire...

"Uhh... Star...wHOA! Ahhh!" The big men cried, gasped and panted as she grabbed his own big piece of flesh and squeezed it.

"Kneel," She ordered and the man, to everyone's surprise, did so.

"Wow! Lemme try!" Chromia said excitedly before going to her mate and did the same... And he did the same thing Skyfire did.

When the other men, Autobot and Decepticon alike saw what the femmes did, they feared the worst and hid their own piece of flesh from them.

"See?" Stascream said lifting up and leaving a flushing and panting Skyfire behind. "It seems this was made to control them." Then walked towards the other femmes again before a hand around her wrist stopped her. Frowning, she turned to see the blue optics of a desperate Skyfire.

"Why did you stop? Please... Continue..." He begged and guided her hand towards his now erect flesh.

She smirked and squeezed it again to his delight this time making him moan.

Spike yelped and ran away. He couldn't bear anymore this.

The other men looked at the poor former shuttle and at how this one moaned and how Starscream treated him as if he was jelly.

"H- hey... Leave him alone, S- Screamer...!" Skywarp tried really worried just as the other men.

"No! Please don't stop, I'll do anything you want Star... But please don't stop!" Skyfire cried to everyone's shock.

Near them Chromia was doing the same to Ironhide... And now even Megatron seemed worried... Really worried!

"OoooOhhh!" Skyfire roared seconds later and something white and sticky came out from the tip of his flesh. He was panting for air but had a stupid grin plastered on his face... Just as Ironhide.

"Ah' do anything ya want if ya do tha' again...anything!" He declared...

...and every men walked...or better say, jumped away from the femmes and covered their hanging flesh from them...even Shockwave who seemed rather worried that the humans have such an easy way of being manipulated by women.

Elita was smirking devilishly at Optimus by now who looked at her worriedly. "What?"

"I know now how to make the mighty Prime to kneel to me..." She purred making her male flush. Somehow he liked the idea... No matter how terrifying sounded.

"Hnn," he groaned, he could feel heat pooling in his groin and suddenly understood the problem Megatron and some others had earlier experienced. "Perhaps later?"

She smirked but nodded, as leaders, they all had to set an example. But once they were in private...

"Ahem, when do you think that human will arrive with proper covering?" Shockwave questioned his leader, trying to sound casual but his single look betrayed his nervousness.

"It better be soon," Megatron growled, hating more than ever this stupid, helpless body. That damn Q must be laughing his aft off at them. "This whole situation is maddening."

He quickly glanced around, checking to make sure no Femmes were trying to sneak up on him. None of them were so he relaxed a little. He watched with distaste as Skyfire wrapped his arms around Starscream and pressed his flushed face against her, panting heavily as she looked smug. Pity he couldn't give her a good smack.

"Yah okay Hide?" Chromia asked her mate smugly, he looked like he'd overloaded well.

"Yah bet," he said with a big grin. "Come here."

He pulled her down and kissed her full on the mouth, making her giggle and slip her arms around his burly shoulders.

"Never seen Ironhide downed like that," Sunstreaker whistled, watching the scene with interest.

"Too right," Sideswipe agreed before glancing down at his piece of flesh. He took hold of it and lifted it up but nothing really happened, it stayed limp. He wondered if only Femmes could cause it to swell and grow, maybe it was a special ability of theirs.

"How come we don't see human females doing this all the time?" Jazz asked Prowl with a grin, nudging him.

"By Spike's reaction, this is not a public activity," he stated shortly, not sure how he felt about what was happening. "Then again, humans are usually covered up; perhaps this is a common thing when uncovered."

"Why was Spike so embarrassed?" Smokescreen questioned, sitting cross legged on the floor.

"He is still young by human standards, he has not reached human majority," Prowl mused. "I would imagine this is reserved for adults only."

"Guess we'll ask if he ever comes back," groused Ratchet, knowing that it was only a matter of time before someone injured themselves in a stupid way and he'd be expected to fix it even though he had only bare minimum knowledge of human anatomy.

"This is weird," Skywarp muttered to his trine mate. "And look at Screamer, she brought that big lug to his knees."

"She certainly has," Thundercracker said tensely, wondering if she'd do the same to them. They'd rejected her and it didn't matter her gender, Starscream never forgot a grudge and would always look for a way to exact revenge.

"Maybe we can beg for forgiveness," Skywarp offered before adding. "Maybe she will have no mercy..."

_Author's note. What happens when Sparkplug finally arrives? Do the bots and cons get into more mischief? Find out next time, until then._


End file.
